Hopes dashed.....

I hate it when I read my body wrong! Makes it very difficult to know what's going on, but at least I'm sure right at this moment, I'm not pregnant.

I was quite disappointed when the test was negative this morning. It's my first absolutely negative test since June. I guess there is nothing left from my babies now, so that is probably a good thing. I really should have gone for a D & C, but I'm lazy and couldn't afford it when it should've been done. Then, when I could, I didn't want to, thought it would clear up by itself. I didn't expect it to take this long and be so awful though. Obviously everything has returned to normal now and I'm hopeful that next month will be more promising.

I really, really like the idea of identical triplet boys!

But, some work needs to be done on my pelvic floor and tummy muscles before I try carrying even one baby around in my belly!

One of the blogs I follow, has set up a space for mum's to write about their losses.

I can't do it, and I can't read the stories either.

Today I went to Mike Weaver's dad's funeral. I never knew him really, but I am so sad for Helen and Mike. Helen also learned today that her own father doesn't have long to live and it's just awful and unfair and heartbreaking to see them go through this much pain.

All I can do is bake a little for them each week, and pray that her father will come to accept Christ before it's too late. And then, hope for a peaceful and merciful ending. And then, make more effort to visit and keep in touch even though they live so far away.

What else are friends for?

I want to be a better friend. More reliable. More caring. Less selfish. Less absorbed in my own stuff.

Praise God, there is always something more to learn and to improve!


Guess I'll have to live to 110 to get it all................