I love my Ingrid, but it's clear she doesn't love herself any more, if she ever did. Why can't we break through to her, what is in store for her? Fear drives us to push things way beyond the boundaries of common sense. I should've just left it alone, but then we'd just be fooling ourselves still, hiding the pain and playing the game.
everyone is upset and blames themselves, when only one is responsible for their own actions. Why do we do that? Why can't she see how she hurts each one if us? as well as herself?
She might as well just stab me in the heart and be done with it.
Tomorrow morning, I will do another pregnancy test. I'm not sure of what I hope for any more. Where does it all go wrong? At what point do we take the blame for bad parenting and which point can we put it all on the child?
All the joy has been sucked out of it now, but now I don't feel guilty for making another child miss their trip of a lifetime. I wouldn't take Ingrid anywhere until she addresses her demons and stops being so rebellious. She would suck the fun out of that too. :(
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